The day has finally come. It's my turn!

My turn for what you ask?
...My turn to enjoy some of the sweet aspects having a little girl will bring. Things like Ballet. Tap Dance and Gymnastics.

Why is this such a big deal you ask?

...Well, I've been on the other side. Standing at the Mall watching as girls dance around in their tutus and tap shoes. All while my 3 strapping boys urge me to keep walking. I've sat through countless Soccer, Baseball and Football games. These things are not the same for me. I grew up with a sister. All things Boy were foreign, and while I learned to speak Boy along the way, I've always yearned for sugar and spice.

Now that Football is over, I've begun researching Dance Studios. There are just so many I'm having a really hard time deciding which one to go with. Some are very strict insisting we only have a specific brand of ballet shoes and leotard. While others are extremely lax and don't even care what the kids wear to practice just as long as they are comfortable. Is one better than another?? Or should I go with one in between? Should I go for a once a week class or try and get her enrolled twice a week?

My biggest fear of course is Princess's listening skills. I can just picture her climbing the wall as the instructor tries to teach the rest of the class how to perform a plie! I suppose we won't know until we try.

Do any of you have your daughter in Dance? What was your child's first experiences with it? How did you choose the Studio you take her to?

Some

days

you're

the

bug.

Some days you're the windshield.

Do you remember when I posted about the
Mrs. Goodbee Dollhouse Giveaway







over at Little Window Shoppe

Well, can you believe it....I actually won!! With over 1200 names entered into the drawing and they picked little 'ole me.

They will be delivering the other Dollhouse to Primary Children’s Medical Center (in Salt Lake City, UT.) this week. If you'd like read about that experience and see pictures check out their website on Nov. 3.

I'm so excited. I really think Princess is going to love it!!

I've hummed and hawwwed over whether to post this here on my blog. There are people who read here that will not understand. However, there are many that read here... that just might. It is those people that I want to hear comments from. Please don't judge me, for those of you that can't help yourself, don't bother! I wont post them.

I am near my breaking point. Life stressors have changed. Now instead of worrying about how we're going to pay our mortgage every month ( hubby injured his Shoulder at work and was out of commission for several months) he's working 2 FT jobs and we're quickly catching up. We'll soon be ahead and just in time for Christmas. I should be celebrating. I should be jumping for joy. Instead I no longer have ANY support here at home day or night and I'm literally ready to run away. Abandon my 4 children and disappear into another life. Of course, that will never happen, but I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't seriously crossed my mind.

I'm majorly sleep deprived thanks to Princess. The child DOES NOT SLEEP. She keeps me running after her the entire day, a nap is a rare occurrence and now having her keep me up all night too is breaking me. I dread each morning and what the new day will bring. I seriously need respite care. Funny how that's one thing I would have never imagined asking for in our Adoption subsidy. We've had her since she was 2 days old. Raised her as our own from the very beginning- yet I have to admit she is so very different. She's programmed different and nothing we have done could have changed that. Had she been older, we certainly would have asked for something like Respite to keep our sanity, but we never thought we'd need it.

I'm not sure why, but I have had recent feelings of... well... I don't even know what to call them kind of feelings. They come from pure frustration, probably exhaustion too. I just feel like I'm failing her. We've been through the PCIT therapy. We've been consistent. We've done everything we know what to do. It's not normal for a 3 yr old to sleep 2-3 hours in a 24hr period consistantly. NOT NORMAL!!! It's also not normal for a 3yr old child to have some kind of need to constantly be getting into things. Day or night, she's getting into things she's not supposed too. She's like a 1 yr old in that regard. 1 y/o's don't really know better...nearly 4y/o's DO! Yet she can't. She lacks the impulse control.

Recently Princess had another bad night. She was literally up and down all night long. I fought her most of the night, but at some point after 4:30am I fell into a deep, dead sleep and didn't wake up until 6:15 when I usually get up. Wanna know what I found?

Yeah, let's see... her bedroom floor covered with a big mess of red "something" all over her carpet. Upon further inspection under her bed (where she puts things she's knows she's not supposed to have) this is what I found:

1 empty ziplock bag
1 empty playdoh container (white playdoh that had been stored in the said Ziplock bag)
1 pair of very sharp kitchen scissors
1 empty box of Cherry Jello mix
1 plastic knife (THANK GOD it was plastic!)

OMG This is never coming out of our brand new carpet. THANK GOODNESS she didn't hurt herself with the scissors or cut off all her hair!! What if next time, it's not a Plastic knife, but a REAL one???

We've tried everything.
*Baby gates don't work. She climbs them or knocks them down.
*Co-sleeping. She waits until we're sleeping and climbs out of bed to get into anything she can.
*We've tried locking her door from the outside. It makes it worse. I'm forced to sit through hours of screaming. I mean HOURS upon HOURS of screaming. It just can't be good for her emotionally.
*I've taken her to the Doctor. He can't find anything physically wrong with her and feels it must be Psychological/Behavioral and she may need some kind of therapy. Someone please tell me, how can a 3y/o benefit from therapy??

ACK, this post is going to turn into a novel if I keep this up. To make a long story short, I think I am beginning to resent my beautiful little Princess. I'm finding that I actually need to get away from her. A question for fellow Adoptive families.... Am I suffering from "Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome" (PADS)? I've seen the term thrown around before, but we're nearly 1 year post finalization here. Plus we Adopted here in the United States, not abroad and we've had her since she was 2 days old. Do you think it's still possible? Could it even set in this late in the game??

GAH- On the other hand, maybe I just need sleep.



10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'










1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving? call 1- 800-'. (and I've TOTALLY done that!!)

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The Ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Christopher





















Trey

Do your children wear glasses? I just have to share with you an awesome store I've found that sells discount eyeglasses. I'm talking CHEAP eye glasses. Cheaper than I've ever seen before! Cheaper than Sams Club or Costco even.

Two of my children wear glasses or contacts, and the 3rd recently got a referral to the Eye Doctor at as well. I'm sure he's on the way to needing glasses too. Anyway, if you or anyone in your immediate family wears Glasses, you know how expensive they can be right? Well not anymore! Keep reading, those days of expensive eye wear are now over.

Check this out....Zenni Optical offers Complete Prescription Eye Wear for as low as $8.00!

No seriously, even those expensive bendable Children's frames (that are a must have for our busy kids) are ridiculously cheap at Zenni Optical....

These Children's Bendable Titanium Glasses with Rx Lens are just $23.95!!! Yes, people that's lens and frame, anti-scratch coating, UV protection, lens edge polishing and beveling. Unbelievable!!

Zenni Optical offers a huge selection of frames, and many kinds of lenses including the tinted sunglasses lens, bifocal lens and progressive lens. The Secret to their low prices is they sell only their own manufactured frames. There is no middlemen and they have virtually no advertising budget or retail overhead.

I know, I know, you're thinking these glasses aren't going to be as good as my name brand frames right? WRONG, a recent article from the Chicago Tribune addressed that very concern.

"But the secret about name-brand frames is companies such as Giorgio Armani and Ralph Lauren don't make the frames, Consumer Reports said. They just license their names to a regular frame manufacturer."


There ya go. A regular frame manufacturer similar to Zenni Optical.

Well, I know where I'm getting our next pair of glasses. Stop by and check them out, you'll be amazed at what they have to offer!




Well, I survived!

I manged to see parts of both games.

It wasn't an easy task by any means, running from one side of town to the other and back. But who says motherhood was easy right?




Trey plays on the Buccaneers, (#26 in the red) His game was very exciting and I'm just glad I caught the best part. They came up from behind in the last quarter. Went into overtime with a score of 13-13. Lost the coin toss but held the ball and came back to win it 14-13!!!













Christopher is over there in the Blue and White, #81 (He's a Bluejay)

They beat the other team 20-0. A typical score for them. YAY!






















I'm happy for them both, but did I happen to mention I am soooooooooooooooooooooo ready for Football to be over!?


To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE


This is God. Today I will be handling all of your problems for you. I do not need your help so, have a nice day. I love you.

P.S. Remember...

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it yourself!! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in my time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

Should you decide to share this with a friend, thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!

Now, you have a nice day.

God

You know, it kind of sucks when you have to choose between your children!

It's Football Playoff time. Both of my kids teams made the playoffs.

Here's the story:

Christopher plays football for the Jr. High. He's played football for 6 years now and yet they put him on 2nd string! If he get's to play at all, it will probably be in the 2nd half when they're no longer at risk of loosing anymore.

This is Trey's first year playing football. He's a natural and a key player for the Team. He plays nearly the entire game both offensive and deffensive lines.

Both games are at the same time this evening.

The Problem:
I am only 1 person.

What to do?????

Of course I jokingly explained to Christopher that I couldn't be at both games at the same time. I guess I was hoping he would tell me not to worry about coming to his game since he didn't get to play much.

It didn't work. He instead chanted: "Come to mine, come to mine, come to mine"!

Ah, can you say backfire?? Now it kind of makes more sense to me to go to Trey's game since this is his first year playing, but when your older child practically begs you to come to HIS....

GAH, this sucks.

The Baby Butler

A Hands Free Bottle Holder invented by a Dad trying to juggle caring for his 2 small children simultaneously.

Boy, let me tell you what a great invention it is!! I really wish something like this was around when my boys were little. Having had 3 little ones at the same time, I know how difficult it is to keep everyone happy... eSpeCialLy when it was time to feed the baby!

This product gives you a helping hand. It allows you to hold and feed your baby while keeping your hands free to do other things. A MUCH BETTER alternative to propping the bottle.

How does it work? Well, the Hands Free Bottle Holder has a weighted pillow on one end that goes over your shoulder to hold it in place. The opposite end features a thick, adjustable Velcro strap to hold any size bottle to your baby's mouth. Viola! Your hands are free to do pretty much anything....Read a book to yourself or another child, feed an older child or even enjoy your own dinner before it get's cold!

There's even a couple bonuses: The Baby Butler is also a changing pad, burp cloth and features a built in pacifier holder.

Baby Butler can be found at specialty retailers and can also be ordered online at BabyButler.net

We tried a new hairdo today! I found this one called,Double Criss-Crossies at It's a Girl Thing







Isn't it adorable??

I'm hoping it stays put. There's nothing worse than spending a good chunk of time (okay it took 20 min) on her hair in the morning, only for it to fall out before nap time!

Just an update on Christopher (12). He's managed to pull up his bad grades and currently has A's,B's and C's. Which are MUCH-MUCH better!!!!!!


So we've decided to lengthen his leash a bit. He's back on the football team and he's earned the evil cell phone and PSP back, among other privileges. I wonder how long it will take him to mess up again? .....Sorry but after all that we've been through with him this year, I don't have much confidence that he's going to keep himself out of trouble. (pretty sad eh?)

Though I must say, he's been so much more pleasant to be around these last couple weeks while on restriction. Though perhaps there is still hope... We actually sat down on the couch last night together and watched the local HS football team play against their biggest rivalry on TV. Normally, I would be the last person he'd want to sit next too and cheer with. It was nice. The team lost, unfortunately ending it's 20 game winning streak.... gahhh such a disappointment that was.

And can I just say that it's SO weird that I'm walking and talking football?? I've never been a "sports" kind of girl. But I find myself screaming and chanting, rooting and hollering. I actually know a good call from a bad one now. Trey(8) is playing football this year as well. It's his first year and he is showing amazing potential. When he was tackled and buried on the bottom of the pile during his game on Tuesday, I was able to keep my cool and remain on the sidelines. He staggerd up and I found myself screaming "SHAKE IT OFF TREY!" Oiy, 10 yrs ago I would have never said such a thing. See what having kids will do to ya!?!?


Recently, we've been having major sleep issues with The Princess. Because of this, we've succumbed to teaching her to stay in her room when she wakes up several times throughout the night.

Each night upon tucking her into bed, I tell her to look outside. I explain to her that it's dark outside and that means the Sun has gone to bed. I say... "Now remember, you don't come out of your room until the Sun get's up, okay?"

Then, this evening as we're driving home from an appointment (it's dark outside) she and I have the following conversation-

Princess: Mommy, where did the Sun go???

Me: The Sun went the nite-nite hunny.


Princess:
Nooooo!!! The Sun can't go nite-nite.

Me: Yes it can, it was tired. It had to go nite-nite.


Princess:
But the Sun didn't eat lunch yet! (She get's the terms lunch/dinner mixed up still.) She was VERY concerned that the Sun had gone down without eating his dinner.

Me: Well no, I don't think Sun's eat dinner hun.


Princess:
YES! Yes, they do. They do eat dinner!

Me: ????

chirp...chirp...chirp...
Can you hear the crickets chirping?


Hmmm. I didn't even know what to say back to that so I just left it alone! No sense arguing with a 3 yr old who thinks the Sun eats dinner before heading off to bed. Especially since "I" was the one that started it.

... I wonder what they eat?

I stumbled on a really cool blog, and from there another and another. These blogs are focused on little girl hair. Braids, updos, piggies, messy buns..... you name it. If you don't know what a messy bun is, or how to do one, I didn't either until last night!

All have photos of hair creations, some even have video tutorials! I'm going through a dry spout with Princess's hair and haven't done much of anything with it lately. For me, that's a downright drought!! lol

Anyway, I tried my very first creation this morning and I wanted to share with you. It doesn't really look like it was supposed too, but I see what I did wrong and will adjust it next time.

In the meantime, it's still cute as a button!! I got this style from Piggies 'N Ponies and it's called 4 Messy Buns...



What do you think??

Little Window Shoppe is giving away a Mrs. Goodbee Dollhouse!

The Mrs. Goodbee Dollhouse is the only dollhouse that comes to life and encourages caring, sharing and preparing as your child plays! It has 12 big rooms; 400+ activities, songs, words and sounds; it helps children learn social and emotional skills through imaginary play and real-life experiences; and it is a 2008 Outstanding Product Winner! To see this dollhouse in action, please visit this Caring Corners link.

In addition to choosing one lucky winner, they are also going to give a 2nd Dollhouse to Primary Children’s Medical Center in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Now, having spent a good deal of time in the Hospital with my son, I realize how important wonderful toys like this can be to the children who have to be there! Major kudos to them for doing this!





So if you're interested in participating as well, mosey on over to Little Window Shoppe and enter sometime before Oct. 23rd!


*Why do banks charge a fee on "Insufficient Funds" when they know there is not enough??


*Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?


*How do all those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures??


*Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?


*Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?



Well, do you know???

PS. Did you know you can subscribe to me by email? For those of you that did, I apologize, but you will need to resubscribe. For some reason it hasn't been working properly and in order to fix it, I had to start from scratch. Please see the link above. Thanks!

Okay, so I think I've gotten everything fixed as far as the look of the blog is concerned. Please leave me a comment if the sidebar isn't back where it's supposed to be.

On a different note, Christopher was indeed barred from playing football due to his grades. (Well, the F in particular.) I've been shooting emails and phone calls all week back and forth to the school counselor and his teachers. Things are bad. My usually chatty son is withdrawn and depressed in the classroom. They are all very worried about him and the School Counselor strongly urges us to get him some professional help. Yikes. That's something a mother never wants to hear. Football was his last joy in life and I'm extremely worried now that he can't play things are going to take a spiral dive downward.

He has been through a lot this year, and I suppose I like to put my blinders on and pretend none of it effected him. Alas, it's not working. I must face the reality. How do you get a 12 yr old to understand that it's not his fault that his biological father wanted nothing to do with him? Why the "father's" family pretends he doesn't exist. Why he'll never get a chance to ask his "father" these questions himself someday? Why he was left out of the Obituary when his "father" died over the summer? These things will forever scar my son. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I'd really like to kick that man's ass for what he's inexplicably done to my child's mental health. Is that wrong of me to want to kick a dead man's ass? lol

On a good note:
After a 14 week break due to a shoulder injury, my hubby will HOPEFULLY be released from restrictions today! He's doing very well and we're hoping and praying the surgeon releases him. YAY!!!!!!!!! I'm tired of money being tight and all the stress that comes along with that.

Gah- this has been the crappiest year.

And finally, I'll leave you with some Wise Wednesday wisdom:

"Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake."
~Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne

I'm having such a hard time understanding all this html STUFF! In the past, I've had complaints from individuals that could not access my blog. I had no clue why. Recently, I made the big switch from IE to Firefox (Wow, big improvement! I must have been under a rock all this time) I thought perhaps that was why some people couldn't access the blog so I tested it in both browsers.

What I saw was completely unexpected. The blog looked totally different!! It was downright UGLY. Colors and Fonts that I had not chosen. Anyway, I *thought* I fixed it. Then someone brought to my attention that some people cannot see my header correctly because the font I use ISN'T installed on everyone's computer.

That's odd. You mean not everyone likes the same fonts that I do?? WELL WHY THE HECK NOT! heeheehee

To make a long story short, this is what I see when I look at my blog....
Photobucket


What do YOU see?
Anyone care to help a girl out?

I think I need professional help. Photobucket

(No not THAT kind!)




I'm so tired.

Princess has suddenly decided that she doesn't need to sleep again. She seems to go through these episodes every few months.

It's not your typical (at least not for me) need less sleep episodes. I mean she does. not. sleep. At all! We're talking 2-3 hrs a night, and not all at once either.


Well, when she is going through these episodes we lock her door at night. We moved the lock on the outside of her door and lock it. I know, I know, it sounds awful. Please don't judge us! It's for her own safety. The child SIMPLY CAN NOT stay out of things. She climbs right over baby gates so that's no longer an option for ue. The Hubby and I have joked not to fall asleep when she's awake or she'll burn the house down. (And we both know, it's not really a joke)

So anyway, my problem is this:

She is now terrified we're going to lock her door at night. She FREAKS OUT. And I suppose she has every right. Its giving her a complex. So we've been trying really hard to wean her off of it. We let her go to sleep with the door cracked open and then close it (but not lock it) when she falls asleep. We talk with her on her level about staying in her room until mommy and daddy get up. She seems to understand, but NEVER does!

I'll get up and find that she's filled water bottles up and poured the water into her play kitchen sink. In the process pouring water all over the tile floor. And I'm not talking just a little bit of water either... TONS of water. Or she's torn paper up (books are her favorite things to tear) and strewn it ALL OVER THE HOUSE. Or she's gotten a pen or pencil and drawn me beautiful (NOT) pictures all over the walls or herself. She's gotten into the food, the cookie jar up on the counter with candy inside of it. The list goes on and on and on... And well, since she's not sleeping, I am up all night long making sure she's safe or fighting with her to stay in her room.

Last night after fighting with her for hours I finally locked her door. I needed some sleep!!! Of course that led to her screaming and kicking her door until I thought the house was going to fall down. I drug myself out of bed and once again had a chat with her. I agreed to leave the door unlocked if she PROMISED to stay in her room. That was about 2:30am. At 4am, The Hubby climbed into bed after arriving home from work and said he found Princess playing in the living room!

There has GOT to be another way. She's so different than my boys. We left baby gates on their doorways when they were toddlers. By the time they got big enough to climb over, they were trustworthy enough to come out of their rooms unattended. They never got into stuff like she does!!! Plus, they S.L.E.P.T at night!!!!!

Does anyone have any suggestions???


So, after hours of looking at code and having my eyes nearly turn inside out, I finally have a new look!


What do you think? Does everything look okay? Please let me know if something is broken or screwy looking!




Once again, I'm at a loss. Being gone for a month has really caused the rest of the family to suffer.

I come home to disarray, a pile of mail nearly the size of my 3 year old and a tween well on his way to failing the 7th grade. He's never been a straight "A" student, but he's always gotten decent grades.

Currently, Christopher is getting 2 D's and an F. Yeah, I don't even know if they'll let him continue to play football with those grades!

What the heck am I supposed to do?? It's getting to the point where he doesn't even care about the punishments that we deal out.

I've always thought of myself as a good parent. I read books, and parenting magazines and took the advice of others. I knew what I was doing. I knew the basics and followed them. Our children were well rounded, they had good manners and were respectful to others. Now, I'm treading unknown waters- and I'm failing miserably. In fact,
I'm DROWNING
!!

Let me give you an example: The day I came home from Chicago we were going to go out to dinner. Christopher wanted to go to the Homecoming game with some of his friends instead. The hubby had every intention of making him come to dinner with the family. While I on the other hand knew this would cause him to be a little snot nosed monster and frankly after not seeing him for a month, I'd rather let him go to the game and avoid the attitude he would have dealt out while ruining our wonderful dinner. Isn't that awful!? I'm turning into a softie. Allowing him to get away with things I otherwise would not have just to avoid the crap.

I'd like to just bury my head in the sand and pretend that everything is fine with him. But then the sensible side of me says that it's just going to get worse if we don't get this under control now.

I need some new and fresh ideas. What do I do???


 

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