Okay, so in previous PARENT CHILD INTERACTION THERAPY classes we have been practicing Child-Directed-Interaction.
Well, we've now moved onto the next phase. Parent-Directed-Interaction. We've yet to practice it in class, we'll get to in next week. For now, we are just learning about it and how it works. Let me tell you, I am FREAKING OUT. I just know we're going to be sitting in the little room with the 1 way mirror for HOURS trying to get our very stubborn, oppositional child to do the things we will be telling her to do. You see, she's a sweet little girl, when you aren't telling her what to do. The second someone starts giving her directions, she totally melts down!! (okay, well not always but often)
Anyway, here is what PDI looks like:
Again, there are very strict things you can and cannot say!
Direct commands- Telling, NOT asking
For example:
"Can you help me clean up now?"
vs.
"Please help me clean up now."
Stay Positive (Tell child what TO do, not stop doing)
For example: Child is on the kitchen counter
"Don't climb on the counter."
vs.
"Get down please."
One Command at a time
For example:
"Brush your teeth, comb your hair and put your shoes on."
vs.
"Brush your teeth."
Neutral tone of voice
Polite and respectful
Always provide a consequence, for obedience and disobedience!!
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Now... there's a big flow chart on how we will make everything go together and what steps to take based on different reactions. Instead of me trying to explain them to you check out this fabulous SLIDE SHOW...
Wow. On one hand, it's a strict and very thorough time out. On the other, there are so many rules!! So much to remember. My head is spinning just thinking about it. I'm SOOOO glad we will be directed though the 1 way mirrors. Our daughter does NOT sit in a time out. Her version of time out is to get up and RUN the second you turn your back!! *giggle*
We'll see.... I'll be sure and let you know how it goes.
PARENT CHILD INTERACTION THERAPY
We're slowly moving along. I'll share with you what we've been working on so far.
Every day, we each need to have "Special Time" with the Princess.(I'm going to call it ST)
We must set out 2 interactive toys (such as Blocks, Coloring, Playdoh etc) at the table. We tell her: "We're going to have Special Time. You can play anything on the table and I will play with you."
Sounds simple enough right? Well, surprisingly it's not as easy as it sounds!!
During ST we must avoid...
Giving Commands
For example: "Will you hand me that paper?" or "Look at this!"
Those kind of commands are so innocent sounding and things that we all often say while playing with our children. It's TOUGH to not say them.
Asking Questions
For example: "What color is this crayon?" or "Do you want to play blocks?"
See what I mean!?!? It's hard not to ask questions while playing with your child.
Avoid Criticism
For example: "Don't scribble on your paper" or "I don't like it when you talk back"
Now this one is easier than the others, but it's also hard when the Princess doesn't want to sit at the table with me and play. When she wants to throw the toys on the floor (or across the room) and scream it's REAL HARD to ignore the behavior and stay positive!
Okay, by now you're probably asking what we CAN do right?? Well, I'm getting there! lol
We must do these things while playing with the Princess during ST:
PRIDE SKILLS
PRAISE appropriate behavior. For example: "I like the way you're playing quietly"
REFLECT appropriate talk.
Child: "I made a star"
Parent: "Yes, you made a star"
IMITATE behavior and speech.
Child: "I'm drawing a circle"
Parent: "I'll draw one too"
DESCRIBE appropriate behavior. For example: "You're making a tower!"
Always use ENTHUSIASM. Voice is playful with lots of inflection
We must avoid the words NO, NOT, STOP, QUIT and DON'T
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My first experience in the observation room was kind of.... well QUIET. There's just so much you CAN'T say, I couldn't think of any of the things we were SUPPOSED to say. lol Thankfully the team realized I was struggling and kind of pushed me along by telling me what to say and when to say it. Gosh I felt like such a dork.
It's very interesting. I'm curious to see where this leads us and what the NEXT step is.
Article on PCIT
We've been on a waiting list for PCIT for a long time. 7 months or so! Last week I got a letter in the mail inviting me to our first *informational session. I went and let me tell you, it's good stuff!! I can't wait to get started in the program.
What's PCIT?
First, it stands for "Parent Child Interaction Therapy". It's a specialized behavior management program. Designed to help parents deal with children with oppositional/defiant problems, aggressive behaviors, ADHD, or those children experiencing adjustment problems. It also helps children impacted by substance abuse, physical abuse/neglect. Children in foster care placement, those recently adopted or reunited with parents.
The goal is to reduce stress, anger and frustration of the parent. It helps to improve the parent/child relationship, improve the child's minding, listening and improve self esteem.
So why does our beautiful little Princess need such a thing?? Well looks can be deceiving! Our Princess is a handful. 
She seems to lack impulse control. Not so unusual in a toddler, but the older she gets we find it is not improving. She doesn't seem to understand she can't do certain things because it's not safe. For example, running away from us in a busy street. Grabbing things off the counter top or stove, climbing and jumping off furniture, tabletops etc. She is also extremely oppositional. It's something her Occupational Therapist and I have discussed at great length. She is becoming more and more difficult to work with. If there is something that we'd like her to work on, like drawing a line from point A to point B (for example) she will outright refuse. When we try and encourage her, she goes into complete shut down mode. She literally goes into her own little world. A world in which she refuses to speak or make eye contact. If you physically try and course her it will bring on a full blown tantrum. She's a teachers worst nightmare!!
Anyway, I'll definitely share with you any tips I learn on the way from our PCIT training. Click here and here if you are interested in reading more.
I'm struggling. I mean, really really struggling. I'm not sure if it's because my husband has been working 2 full time jobs the last 2 weeks (no exaggeration) and we've hardly seem him. Or maybe it's the Holiday Stress? Perhaps, it's just the fact that she's almost 3... I'm just at a crossroads and I'm not sure where to turn.
Her behavior can be downright ghastly. I'm tired and out of ideas. We're on the waiting list for PCIT. (Parent Child Interaction Therapy)for MONTHS now. They called us recently and offered us an opportunity. They were teaching Therapists the program and we would be the subjects. It was a way to get into the program sooner. It would have been wonderful had it worked with our schedule- but alas it dit not. So we were returned to the waiting list pool to wait our turn.
Our boys were pretty decent as 2 year olds, but 3 was awful. Whoever named the terrible two's was way off! I'd hoped that since 'The Princess' was so difficult at 2, that she would skip the terrible 3's. Now, it's looking like I am not so lucky in that department. She's only gotten bigger, stronger, louder and more persistent.
My sweet girl has some kind of insomnia lately as well. She just doesn't sleep! It takes 2 hours for her to fall asleep for naps... then of course she isn't ready for bed until 10pm. So we tried (much to my dismay) skipping naps all together. Well for some reason that just made it worse. She's up until midnight or later. Laying awake in her bed, talking to herself. Laughing, giggling and shrieking. There is no rhyme or reason for it.
Of course, it's very likely that sleep deprivation is tightly linked to her behavioral problems during the day... so what's the solution!?!? You can't MAKE a child sleep. My hands are tied as far as medication goes. I've already asked the Doctor permission to give Melatonin. (Something that our previous Doctor in Colorado approved for our son when he was having trouble falling asleep) Our new Doctor claimed to know nothing about it and didn't want to give her meds just yet. So I am forced to wait until the Adoption is finalized when I can make the decision to give it to her. (Since she's technically still a Foster Child we could get into big trouble if we gave it to her without Doctors permission.)
Any ideas??
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