Snips Snails and Pigtails

The past few weeks have been nothing but haze. As I sit and try and update this I honestly have a hard time picking and choosing what the write about.

Princess has been more difficult than ever. Just when I think we're going to have a breakthrough and she will realize that she's 4 now and should stop the crazy behavior, she does something else. I swear some of the things she does are things we've learned about in our Foster Parenting classes that are classic of abused and neglected kids. (Her latest antics are urinating on the floor behind her bed and she's escalated the stealing and hiding that she's done since very early on, before we even considered it "stealing") Yet she was never abused or neglected!! We got her straight from the Hospital. It makes me wonder how much genetics really plays in each of us.

I've been thinking a lot about the comments said on the stand during the trail before the Adoption was finalized. At the advice our our attorney we hired this Psychologist who came in and observed our family interactions with Princess. She did an independent bonding assesment to present to the court. This woman had studied and written books on Bonding and Attachment and was an expert in the field. Did you know Bonding and Attatchment are 2 very different things? I didn't, that is until we listened to her speak that day on the stand. She talked about how even newborns suffer loss when separated from their Biological Mothers. Some more than others, but it was well documented and it didn't matter how good of a home that the child went too. So is this something that Princess suffered? Is the reason she has such strange behaviors now?

I admit, that really seems like a stretch. After all, she's 4 yrs old now! Seems she would have gotten past that by now.

In the meantime, the two of us continue to butt heads. I try and be as consistent as possible with her. In the past, this was very difficult because hubby had the mentality that she was his perfect princess and let her get away with everything- but now even he is frustrated with her.

Yesterday was just awful. She awoke in a bad mood and I knew it was going to be a bad day. We ended up going shopping for new shoes for the boys. She was sitting in the cart fussing because I wouldn't let her stand up in the cart. (Imagine that!? I'm such a mean terrible mom hu?) Unfortunately, she cannot be trusted to walk and must be in the cart. Anyway, she reached up and slapped me across the face for no apparent reason. It completely took me by surprise and I reacted. That was just the beginning of our difficult day. Just an hour later I had to take her kicking and screaming away from her Soccer Game because she was acting up and I verbally told her if she wouldn't stop then we were leaving. Of course, I had to follow through- so off we went. The boys and I had the pleasure of listening to her scream miserably the whole way home.

The afternoon didn't improve much. I tried taking her outside while I worked in the yard but she wouldn't stay nearby and kept wandering off. We don't have a fence and back to an open space filled with trees and a pond. We had a Coyote appear in our backyard just last week wanting to feast on our new puppy. I just can't have her wandering off like that!! After 2 warnings I had to take her inside to her room. We are very consistent- yet she STILL DOESN'T LEARN!?!?!?

I'm spent. I'm frustrated and questioning things I never imagined I'd be questioning. I need to post more because I feel so much better when I do....