You ever have those days where everything you say or do seems to be wrong?
Have you ever felt out of place in your life?
Like you don't know how you got there or what you want to do about it??
Like you've fallen and you can't get up?
I have. I am. I do.
I'm finding myself questioning and pondering things that I dare not even say out loud. I can't even bare the thought of these things in my head let alone let them escape for others to chew on.
Instead I wear the happy face and hand out the expressive, thoughtful, warm feeling type of comments to those around me...but really it's just a mask. One that's hiding the ugly awful truth that I have completely lost my direction and have no clue where to go from here.
I don't know who my friends are. Who can I trust? What is a friend anyway? Who actually cares?
What do I do with this child? This lovely, beautiful, difficult, enraging child? Why is she like this? What did we do? What can we change? Why do I suddenly feel this way?
*sigh*
Yeah, this is why I have avoided the blog lately. Deep down, it's all dark and unhappy. A total funk.
I'll pull out someday. In the meantime, it's easier to wear the mask and pretend. I did take theatre... it's all good.
Princess had her very first Soccer game this weekend...
It's hysterical watching these 3 and 4 yr. olds play. We knew it would be one heck of a game when the whistle blew and nearly our entire team stood on the line looking around dazed and confused while the other team took off with the ball. It took some direction and coaxing, but soon they all seemed to grasp what they were supposed to be doing.
Princess quickly became a ball hog (cute, but we'll have to work on teaching her Soccer is a TEAM effort! lol) and at the very end, managed to score a goal all by herself!!! She was very excited and hasn't stopped asking since when she can play again.
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