I know I haven't been around much, and really I have no excuses. No,we've not been out of town, no one is sick... nothing really. I couldn't figure out what my problem was, why I was avoiding my blog for some time now. Heck I haven't even been taking many pictures. I've skipped out on 'My Best Shot Monday' twice in a row now. I look through the weeks photos, to choose my favorite and none of them are any good. I've lost my eye for a good shot. I've lost my passion.
Well, today it finally dawned on me. I'm down over this darn Adoption. It came to me suddenly when I was in line at the Bank. I ran into our Realtor, whom I have not seen in about a year now. She asked how things were, fully expecting that our Daughter's adoption had long been finalized by now. I had to explain to her that as far as I know, we are ~no~ closer to an Adoption date today, than we were 1 year ago when we moved here. I nearly cried. It was then, that I realized the root of my avoidance of this blog. A blog that I started in part, to take you with us on our Journey to Adoption. Did I just say JOURNEY?? There is no journey! It's more of a fading thought that everyone seems to have forgotten about. I have no words. No reasons. No explanations. No more expectations...and wavering faith. I just, don't know WHAT to think let alone what to say.
Please bare with me.... I really love reading your comments and I don't want to lose any of you as readers. I know some of you have been in my shoes, whether through Foster/Adoptions or International Adoptions, there is always waiting, waiting and more waiting. I've just had my share of the waiting already!!!!!!!!!!
Labels: Adoption, Foster Care
1 messages:
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oh....I am sooooo sorry. I don't know what to type to help make things any better. I do know where you are coming from and you have every reason to be upset that things have taken so long. I would feel the same way...and did during the time we were trying to adopt or Foster Son. Situation was a different than yours but the wait IS HELL! And unfortunantly the Foster Care System and the Caseworkers seem to move in "Snail" mode! My hubby would tell me frequently when I would get upset about things with our situation, "The Case workers know that we are taking GREAT CARE of Bug so they don't have to check in on us, and because of that we sometimes get forgotten. Give the Case Worker a call or the Guardian ed' lightem (spelling) and tell them how you are feeling. We were lucky to have a great Caseworker and and Guardian ed' lightem and I felt very comfortable talking to either of them when things were going slowly.
I hope that this helped.
You are not alone, and you WILL adopt your daughter. Infact you already have in your HEART, now you just need to make it offical. You will look back when this is all done and realize that your Faith has grown from it.
~Brenda