Snips Snails and Pigtails

Once again, I'm at a loss. Being gone for a month has really caused the rest of the family to suffer.

I come home to disarray, a pile of mail nearly the size of my 3 year old and a tween well on his way to failing the 7th grade. He's never been a straight "A" student, but he's always gotten decent grades.

Currently, Christopher is getting 2 D's and an F. Yeah, I don't even know if they'll let him continue to play football with those grades!

What the heck am I supposed to do?? It's getting to the point where he doesn't even care about the punishments that we deal out.

I've always thought of myself as a good parent. I read books, and parenting magazines and took the advice of others. I knew what I was doing. I knew the basics and followed them. Our children were well rounded, they had good manners and were respectful to others. Now, I'm treading unknown waters- and I'm failing miserably. In fact,
I'm DROWNING!!

Let me give you an example: The day I came home from Chicago we were going to go out to dinner. Christopher wanted to go to the Homecoming game with some of his friends instead. The hubby had every intention of making him come to dinner with the family. While I on the other hand knew this would cause him to be a little snot nosed monster and frankly after not seeing him for a month, I'd rather let him go to the game and avoid the attitude he would have dealt out while ruining our wonderful dinner. Isn't that awful!? I'm turning into a softie. Allowing him to get away with things I otherwise would not have just to avoid the crap.

I'd like to just bury my head in the sand and pretend that everything is fine with him. But then the sensible side of me says that it's just going to get worse if we don't get this under control now.

I need some new and fresh ideas. What do I do???

That's my boy! (Front row, 1st player on the left)

That's my 12 y/o. You know, the one causing my hair to gray!?

I know, I know I've been MIA. But for good reason. I've been in Chicago for the last month dealing with my son and his battle with PseudoTumor Cerebri. If you haven't been following along his Caringbridge page, you can find the link on the sidebar. ---->

That's right a MONTH in Chicago (well, nearly) 2 surgeries later and we're finally home. Hopefully to stay for at least the next 3 months. We'll return in December for a checkup.

Here's a slideshow of some of the pictures that I took while we were there...

For the record, I didn't want him to have one! I felt he was too young, that nothing good would come from it.

In the end, I was right....




This headline reads:

Hormone driven, 12yr old kids and sex

Yep, MY 12yr old kid! This story also involves 12yr old girl.

Said 12yr old girl texts boy messages of love..thinks she's ready for sex
Said 12yr old boy thinks he is too

The pair talk dirty via text messages. They actually send pictures of each other. What kind of pictures? I do not know, they were erased before I got my hands on the phone. (I'm thinking THANK GOD because I don't care to see my 12yr old son in any kind of alluring photos to his girlfriend)

NOW YOU SEE WHY CELL PHONES FOR CHILDREN IS NOT MY IDEA OF A GOOD THING!!!!!!!!!

I'm only 30, I care NOT to be a grandparent before the age of 35.

For the record. Said 12yr old children both lost their cell phones and have 2 sets of very freaked out parents!!!!!! Let me give you a piece of advice... LOCK THEM UP. Yes, your children! LOCK THEM UP NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!

I sent my boys off on the bus this morning for the 08-09 school year... let's just hope and pray their bus driver wasn't one of those!!

Let's see, I've got a 7th grader, 5th grader and 3rd grader. it seems just yesterday my oldest started Kindergarten. I remember the day clearly... what happened?? I blinked and now he's off to Jr. High. I'll share pictures of him in the next few days but for now I leave you with my younger two...




Where is that bus??

I've blogged about this before, but I feel I MUST post it again. I admit, I haven't run into many issues regarding Adoption Language...thankfully.

Unfortunately, there are a few people out there that don't seem to understand their words can be EXTREMELY hurtful. It really stings when someone refers to your child as anything less than YOURS. I think the blinkie in my sidebar sums it up quite nicely.

What is...

A Natural Child? Any Child that is not artificial.
A Real Parent? Any Parent that is not imaginary.
Your own Child? Any Child that is not someone else's child.
Adopted Child? A Natural Child, with a Real Parent, who is all my own!


So for those of you that don't already know, here are some tips on how to refer to other people's "Adopted Children"...

Use Positive language (Negative language is noted in parentheses)

Just say...
Birthparent (Don't say "Real parent"! It's crass)

Biological parent (Don't say "Natural parent" because we are NOT artificial!)

Birth child (Don't say "Own child" because he/she IS all my own)

Your child (Don't refer to my child as "Your adopted child" He/She is just my child. Plain and simple. I don't describe your child with a verb. How would you like for me to say, "I am going to pick up their short child from Kindergarten for them" It's the same thing.)

Terminating parental rights (Don't say "Giving up" because not all adopted children were voluntarily placed for Adoption.)

Made an adoption plan (It's much nicer than "Gave away"!)

Chose to parent (Don't say "Chose to keep")

Waiting child (Adoptable child)

Making contact with (Reunion)

Parent (Again, I am her PARENT, not her "Adoptive parent")

Child placed for adoption (NEVER say "An unwanted child")

Child with special needs (Handicapped child)

Child from abroad (Don't use the term, "Foreign child". This is self explainable)

Was adopted ("Is adopted" places a label on a child. WAS Adopted is past tense. We've moved on and she is now a permanent member of our family.)